I find it hard to describe how I feel right now... How I have been feeling for the last month or so. It's as though the real me has been on vacation for many months, and, after wandering and wading through the swamp and the muck of anger, pride, confusion, disillusionment, etc., has finally found a way to come home again. Beth Moore would call it a season of sifting, which God was using, has used, and is using, to sift some of the impurities out of my heart and life.
Our church is going through a Beth Moore Bible Study right now called, "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things." And pretty much through all of the videos, and all of Beth's messages after the main video sessions, and through all of the homework, my heart and my head are nodding in total agreement and as much human understanding as I am capable of right now. It's so absolutely, utterly perfect for my life at this point, that I can see with my spirit's eye God's fingerprints and design all over the road map of my life over the last 2 years or so. He is so wonderful!
It is such a joy, blessing, and gift to be back to a place of total and complete trust in Him. I thought I was trusting Him all along, but I see now that there was some major guck in there that was keeping me from trusting Him fully. Truth be told, I'm sure there still is quite a lot more guck in there, and as painful as I know the process might be, I pray that God will quickly and efficiently set about removing whatever other impurities might be lurking the darkest and most hidden recesses of my mind, heart, and motives. In Jesus' name, let it be so Lord!
