Yesterday, April 19, 2012, was one of the most difficult days I have lived through thus far in my relatively young life. It started when I saw my 16-year-old daughter Linnea in the morning. She wouldn't look me in the face, and she wouldn't talk to me or acknowledge my presence in any way. She completely ignored two direct questions.
The evening before, she had been told not to go to track after school at all for the next two weeks, but to come straight home and be home by 2:30 p.m. The evening before that, she and two of our other kids had been grounded from all electronic privileges and from sleepover privileges... Phones, movies, video games, MP3 players, staying the night at friend's houses, and having friends stay the night here.
This was brought on by a long season of them all getting more and more lax about their chores and following our household rules. Several weeks (or has it been months?) ago, we sat down with the kids and told them we were done nagging them. That they needed to help each other and work as a team to get their chores done, keep their grades up, and honor the household rules, and that if that didn't happen, we'd be moving to Plan B. We told them none of them would like Plan B very much, so it was in everyone's best interest that we all be responsible and accountable and self-disciplined (as much as possible for our flawed human selves).
Tuesday, April 17, 2012, was the day we put Plan B into action. Apparently Linnea didn't like it too well. I have to say Megan and Stephen rose to the challenges admirably and have been working hard to earn back their lost privileges, which we said could be earned back one at a time, one week at a time, by their being responsible to keep themselves on track without us having to nag them.
Will parenting ever be easy? There are a handful of people in the world who have the ability to rip my guts out, and most of them reside in this house. Dear Lord, please guide our steps and show us the way, by Your grace, and for Your honor and glory!
3 comments:
Hi Mel,
Long time no hear from, but this post is so motivating. I too, have a sixteen year old in the home, my granddaughter Jordan. Sounds like Linnea and Jordan have a lot in common. Jordan got in a tiff last night because I added some ingredients in the dish she was cooking for us. Now don't you know that I asked first of course and she said, "add all you want." What I didn't realize at the time was she really meant was, "don't put anything in the dish, I'm cooking it and so don't add anything to it." Hmmmm, silly me. So this brought on a lengthy pout and she didn't eat any of it. Now the only reason I know that when she said 'go ahead and add things' she really meant, 'don't you dare add anything', was by my expert detective skills, trust me, not by anything she said because she didn't say another word all night, just buried her head in her iPhone and lived electronically for the balance of the night.
So hopefully if knowing your aren't the only one brings you any solace, well, there you have it.
God bless,
Fred
Hi Mel,
Long time no hear from, but this post is so motivating. I too, have a sixteen year old in the home, my granddaughter Jordan. Sounds like Linnea and Jordan have a lot in common. Jordan got in a tiff last night because I added some ingredients in the dish she was cooking for us. Now don't you know that I asked first of course and she said, "add all you want." What I didn't realize at the time was she really meant was, "don't put anything in the dish, I'm cooking it and so don't add anything to it." Hmmmm, silly me. So this brought on a lengthy pout and she didn't eat any of it. Now the only reason I know that when she said 'go ahead and add things' she really meant, 'don't you dare add anything', was by my expert detective skills, trust me, not by anything she said because she didn't say another word all night, just buried her head in her iPhone and lived electronically for the balance of the night.
So hopefully if knowing your aren't the only one brings you any solace, well, there you have it.
God bless,
Fred
Hello Mel,
I am visiting your blog after a very long time although I am aware of the problems Linnea created from your posts in the FB.
Linnea is growing up and at this stage children are known to be rebellious. This is a very difficult time for you and for her. You trying to inculcate some good values in her life and she stubborn to obey instructions. Perhaps she has difficult friends who give her wrong advice.
If you keep on insisting on strict discipline without showing adequate love, the children will grow to hate parents when they grow up. This is happening in many families. No doubt parents are doing this to teach children good habits and become responsible citizens. But this is always misinterpreted. You know Mel, children discuss these things with their friends at school and some friends instigate to go against the wishes of the parents. Well, bringing up children has become more complicated in the modern days. Have patience with Linnea and talk to her even if she ignore you. May be you can cut some jokes and make her laugh and break the ice.
I am sure she will appreciate your gestures and respond more warmly and affectionately.
I will pray for you and your family.
Best wishes,
Joseph
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