Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Other Gender

As a Christian woman, wife and mother, having male friends has become increasingly difficult and complicated over the years. There are a couple guiding principles that have materialized in my heart in recent months that make sense to me regarding friendships with the opposite sex. One is, my husband has to be aware of it and completely okay with it. Secondly, the friendship should enhance and strengthen and protect my marriage, and the marriage of the other person (if there is one.)

So as much as I can with my own limited understanding, I try to consistently search my own heart, thoughts, desires and motivations, in an effort to identify and eradicate any traces of impurity, and so that the boundaries of the friendship can be tweaked if they need to be. This is a constant challenge and balancing act that sometimes feels like an exercise in tight-roping. But in my own life, friendships with both men and women are becoming increasingly precious to me, so even though it’s difficult (and sometime painful) to find and maintain all of the appropriate boundaries, the blessings of these relationships still far outweigh the challenges. I know that God is helping me with this, because, after all, relationships are precious to God, too.


Kayloni said...

Very cool. Probaly becuase I'm a stay at home mom I don't relate to the male friendship thing. I don't have any males friends. But I can imagine that if I was in the work force this would be an issue. It sounds like you are being an excellent stewart of the friendships he has put in your life!

Mel said...

I started riding the bus a while ago, and it's been so much fun! Whether it's engaging in conversation with someone I just met, or having time to read and have a conversation with God in my heart, riding the bus has been a manifold blessing. Thanks, I do hope to be a good steward of every kind of relationship God has allowed in my life. I hope you go through with the bus idea somehow, someday.... I'm looking forward to hearing the stories that will materialize out of your encounters there. :)

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hi Mel:)

This is an excellent post which will be useful to all married people.

Many marriages flounder because the spouse misunderstands our relationship with the opposite sex. So both partners should avoid relationships with the opposite sex if it is going to cause problems at home.

Small irritations slowly flares up and suddenly becomes a big conflagration and engulfs us completely before we could realise what is happening. The marriage is finished.

We all have to guard ourselves.

Many thanks for the wonderful thinking.

Have a nice day Mel:)

Stampmouse said...

awesome post I always enjoy your thoughts

Mel said...

Hi Joseph,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your comments area always so uplifting, and thought provoking.

Hi Laura,

Thanks, I like reading your thoughts, too!

God bless both of you, and those who are dear to you. :)